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I have found that a gigantic bag of M&Ms hidden away in the cupboard goes a long way towards smoothing ruffled feathers; at least it's a way of allowing the techie to feel a part of the human race. If possible use the same technique that you use with difficult students--get to know them on another level--other than just the professional side. I'm not suggesting everyone head to the local bar after work, but at least get to know them on some sort of level where you can relate to them, and allow them to talk and vent.
The only way that I can think of creating time and space for these conversations, other than heading to the local bar, is to encourage admin to help.
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